Archive for December 5th, 2018

BAKED NEWS: political satire

Posted in Blogs (Articles) on December 5th, 2018 by Rajesh Kochhar – Be the first to comment

BAKED NEWS.
“Sir, when did you decide to become the Supreme Leader?” As you know, my first love has always been history. But I do not believe in reading books, or reading minutes of meetings, official correspondence, or personal correspondence, etc. My approach is intuitive. It is based on two basic assumptions. First, Congress can do no right. Secondly, whatever is wrong must be due to Congress. I once applied for the post of a history teacher in a school. Even though I had a degree in Entire History, I was not selected. There and then, I decided to become the Supreme Leader, so that my historical conclusions get high publicity, and are propagated by my supporters. The other day, I was talking to Donald Trump. Both of us agreed that reading and thinking cause confusion. And confusion should be avoided at all costs.

BAKED NEWS. Journalist to Meha Halini: Your party is very keen to reform Muslim personal law. You are an imprtant leader of your party. What is your opinion? Meha Halini: I do not know about Muslims, but Muslim personal law is very useful for Hindus. Let me give you an example. My husband was already married. So, we could not have been married according to Hindu law. Both of us converted to Islam, naam ke vastey, and got married, We however remain practising Hindus. I suggest that even if Muslim law is changed for Muslims, it should be retained for Hindus so that well-off Hindus can make use of it to indulge in bigamy by bypassing Hindu law.

BAKED NEWS. From the personal diary of an eminent person. I spent an hour explaining to a person how bad Nehru had been for the country. He did not interrupt me, but said at the end: I do not understand what you were saying. But, one thing is clear to me. When Nehru died, the whoe nation went into mourning and millions attended his funeral. I wonder how many people will attend yours.

BAKED NEWS. Son to father: I wish to start my own business. I think I should open a tea stall. Father: It is a good idea. But do not open your stall in the town. Open it at the railway station. Son: But, why?. Father: If you open your stall in the town, people will come back and complain about re-used tea-leaves, bad quality of milk,smell of smoke in the tea, etc. But, if your customers are railway passengers, they will fall sick, will curse you, but cannot get back at you.

BAKED NEWS. Hanuman to Ram: Prabhu, Mahant has obtained SC certificate for me. Ram: Not a good idea; he should have got ST certificate. Hanuman: Why, Prabhu? Ram: If you change your religion, you will lose your SC status, but an ST status would have continued,

BAKED NEWS. Corridor Talk, Dera Baba Nanak. “I feel greatly honoured to be associated with this event of significance for the entire humanity. I take this opportunity to thank my respected father-in-law, my dear husband, and my loving husband. I regret to say my children have not been able to grace the occasion.